Harry Potter & The Arena of Battles
by The Prospective Writer
Summary: Here Ye, Here Ye! The Arena of Battles is finally open! Voldemort vs Umbridge, Hagrid vs Kreacher, whatever you want we've got it and it's all free! That's right tickets are free! Hurry now! Rated T for Violence, Language and crazy, Lovegood Humour!
1. Welcome to the Arena of Battles!

Me: Hello everyone! Welcome to the brand new, completely reviewer-interactive... The Harry Potter Arena of Battles! Blunt? I know, but that's not the point, the point is you lucky fella's get to see something (I hope) is original to the Harry Potter fanfiction community and that is this marvelous Arena!

Harry: WAIT! WHAT? Don't any of us get a say in being chucked into a battle when I just killed Voldemort!

Voldemort: I am immortal Harry Potter, you can't kill me...

Me: Actually he did kill you, but lucky me, the author, has the power to bring you all back to life, so in the Arena feel free to Avada whoever you want.

Harry: Wait.. What about Cruci-

Me: Yes yes yes, im about to explain to the reviewers now Harry, so calm your farm. Here are the rules of the Arena:

**1. You, the reviewer choose two important factors, these are the people in the battle(It can be more than two contestants and it can be either team or free for all) and the setting(The ministry, Hogwarts,etc or my special Arena of Battles Setting) as long as they are Harry Potter areas and people, its perfectly fine.**

**2. Any magical weapons(Spells, goblin weapons,etc) are allowed in the Arena. I'm allowed free-reign on weapons for contestants but I can't make new spells/potions and the like(besides some goblin weapons and etc).**

**3. Although you are allowed to choose the fighters, the outcome is mine alone to choose, i'll keep it unbiased as possible for me, so hopefully they fights will be realistic and true.**

**4. Other than that, i'll try and make all the reviewers fights, thought if this gets really popular, i'll most likely just close my eyes and point somewhere on the screen.**

Ron: Is that it? God you carry on like 'Mione with the new Hogwarts, A History!

Hermione: What Ronald?

Ron: Nuthin, dearest...

Me: Anyways that it really, so come along review, cuz I don't wanna sit here not writing any fights.

Harry: Lucky you, writing them while we're out in the Arena getting Avada'd...

Me: Stop being so Angsty Harry, that's not one of the genres! Anyways see you all in the reviewing section! So... I was great right?

Sirius: Seriously, you were terrible! Geddit?

Me: Oh dementors!

Sirius: No nononononono im seriously sorry, just don't bring _them_ in, pretty please?

Me: Fine...


	2. Sirius vs Walburga

Me: Hello all and welcome to the First fight! This one is brought in by an Anonymous reviewer with only one request, that Walburga Black be in it.

Sirius: Crazy bitch!

Me: Sirius you want to fight your mummy?

Sirius: That cow is not my mother!

Me: Well there we go Sirius Black versing Walburga Black and how about we settle this in Grimmauld Place?

Sirius: Grrrrrr!

Walburga: Filthy muggle, befouler of the earth, how dare you command me to fight that blood traitor in the home of my ancestors!

Me: Errr... Let the match begin!

The contenders entered the dimly lit house, each standing at one end of the long entrance corridor. Sirius growls and glares at Walburga while she laughs insanely. The gong sounds. Instantly Sirius fires off a "Confringo" while flattening himself against the wall as Walburga casts "Defodio" that narrowly misses Sirius and gouges deeply into the entrance door.

"You foul bloody traitor, I should've killed you a long time ago, ruining the Black's name with your dishonour! Crucio!" Walburga screamed firing the torture curse at Sirius. Sirius screamed in agony as he burned as if on fire, thrashing around and tumbling into the kitchen. With the connection broken, Sirius scrambled behind the table, shouting "Colloportus" at the door.

"Bombarda!" Walburga screeched blasting the door from it's hinges and quickly firing two "Deprimo's" at Sirius. Jumping out of the way Sirius casted a "Entomorphis" which Walburga Blasted apart with "Everte Statum" smashing Sirius into the wall. Groaning, Sirius casted "Protego Maxima" blocking the two "Expulso's" sent his way and destroying the table between him and his mother in the process.

Walburga stalked foward, cackling as she sent some fire burning towards Sirius. "Aguamenti!" Sirius shouted drenching Walburga while putting out the fires. "How dare you! Impedimenta! Bombarda Maxima! Incarcerous!" She Screeched chucking curses faster than ever. Sirius ducked, scrambling through the whole his mother had just created in the wall and into the dining room.

"Lacarnum Inflamarae!" Sirius shouted, sending a ball of flame into the hole in the wall. "You want to play with fire! I'll give you fire!" Walburga screeched. Suddenly a loud roaring noise echoed through the dining room, with only a seconds warning, Sirius yelled "Shit!" before sprinting as fast as he could. Sirius soon felt intense heat coming directly from behind him, he glanced back soon wishing he hadn't. A large fiery serpent, the size of a basilisk was slithering after him, gathering speed as it burnt it's way through Grimmauld Place.

Thinking quickly, Sirius cried "Ascendio" followed by a "Bombarda" above his head clearing the way for him to fly up and out of Grimmauld Place. The fiery serpent roared it's discontent at not being able to follow Sirius. Walburga commanded it to go out into the street as she did too. Scanning the skies she quickly found her son and casted "Finite Incantatem"

Falling to the ground at a rate that Sirius did not like at all he quickly casted "Wingardium Leviosa" 10 feet before he would of slammed into the ground. Cancelling the spell, Sirius dropped down, grunting at the hard landing and looked ahead. 10 metres away from him Walburga and the giant, flaming serpent stood, he growled and thinking of Prongs and Prongslet he shouted "Expecto Patronum!"

A bright blue dog erupted from his wand, growling at the serpent ahead of it, that was at the very least 20 times it's size. Growling himself Sirius pointed his wand at the patronus and shouted "Maxima". The dog suddenly expanded until it was only a couple of feet shorter than the serpent, satisfied at it's size he shouted "Oppugno". Without wasting a second, the patronus barked and jumped onto the serpent, digging it's teeth into the fiery flesh. With a grim smile, he turned to his mother. Wild-eyed, Walburga screamed "Avada Kedavra!"

Sirius's eyes widened, gathering his wits, conjured a block of marble. The killing curse smashed into it, shattering it and forcing Walburga and Sirius to the ground. Groaning, Sirius rolled onto his back and quickly kicked himself off the ground and into a standing position. He looked around, only a few flames were left of the fiendfyre and his patronus was doing a good job of finishing it off, the rest of the street was in dissary, the buildings were all smashed, while no.12 looked like a huge pile of ashes and Walburga was stumbling to her feet.

"INCARCEROUS!" Sirius shouted, binding Walburga in ropes. Grinning, Sirius turned into his animagus form and bounded off, leaving Walburga writhing and screaming on the ground.

Me: Woah, well that was cool.

Sirius: Woof!

Harry: You should've told you could do that to your patronus!

Sirius: Magic has no boundaries, I just tried it out then and it worked.

Me: Hey! Least you can cast spells, i'm just a poor muggle here!

Hermione: But you control what happens! Isn't that a huge power and responsibility, I really think you should let Professor Dumbledore have those powers, at least he wouldn't make us fight each over in these insanely stupid fights for his sadistic humour.

Me: (pretends to not hear her) Anyways, review for more of these yummy battles.


	3. Grawp vs Firenze

Firenze: Mars is shining bright tonight.

Me: God damn seers... Anyways today i've got something cool up for you guys it-

Ron: Ooo! Am I fighting someone now? Please?

Me: No the reviewers don't like you Ron! *Cough* As I was saying the match i've got coming up for you lucky fella's is an interesting one, both don't have wands, so this is gonna be cool, please welcome our contestants Firenze and Grawp!

Grawp: Hagger?

Me: No Grawp, you gotta fight Firenze. Anyways they're gonna be causing chaos in Kings Cross, thank friendship-is-magic2011 for the choice of contestants and venue, anyway enough blabbering, let's begin! (grabs popcorn).

Grawp stood grumpily in the middle of the bustling Kings Cross, a lot of people were staring at him, not that you could blame them for finding a 16 foot giant a bit _different_ to say the least. Though the muggles found the centaur holding a oak bow even more unnerving. A gong vibrated through the air, beginning the match.

Firenze nocked two arrows and shot them straight at Grawp's left eye. His aim held true and the giant roared in pain, stomping forward, he crushed many of the startled muggles who were now screaming and evacuating. Grawp, now half-blind, desperately grabbed a train and yelled "HAGGER!" and with he chucked it at Firenze. Barely having enough time to see the train chucked at him Firenze reared up on to his hind legs and jumped through the train doors, making it through to the other side with barely any injuries to himself.

Shaken, Firenze galloped in a circle, blurringly fast, shooting arrows as fast as he could. This was only a slight annoyance to Grawp as Firenze wasn't aiming anywhere painful, but he was moving too fast for Grawp to be able to do anything. Roaring his disapproval, Grawp slammed his fist into a pillar, watching delight as it, and part of the roof fell in. Galloping, Firenze escapes the carnage as Grawp starts to chase towards him. Blindly shooting an arrow behind himself, Firenze sprints ahead seeing the sign with a 9 on it. Quickly thinking, Firenze gallops at full pelt straight into the pillar between 9 and 10. Firenze sighs in relief as he sees the Hogwarts Express.

Meanwhile Grawp on the outside is struggling to find out where the centaur had gone. In blind rage, he slammed his fist into a pillar. Only his hand didn't hit the pillar, it went straight through and manage to smack the centaur inside, who went flying straight towards the Hogwarts Express.

Me: (Munches on popcorn excitedly)

Knowing that there was no door that he could escape his fate through now, Firenze as a last resort, shot an arrow towards the Hogwarts Express, hoping for something, anything to happen.

The arrow shot through the engine, hitting and breaking the wards and magic keeping the Hogwarts Express together. The Express crumbled, as the magic bound to it was destroyed by the arrow. Firenze counted his lucky stars (which he probably will do once he finishes this fight) as he landed safely on top of the remains of the Express.

Leaping down from the rubble, Firenze noted that Grawp's hand was still clawing desperately around for the centaur. Maybe it was Firenze being pushed over the edge from nearly dieing, or just some real bravery that caused Firenze to roar and leap onto the giant's hand and charge through the barrier.

To say Grawp was surprised is a understatement. He just stood there dumbly watching the centaur charge up his arm. A sharp pain in his left nostril snapped him out of his stupor. With a roar he swung his arms around causing Firenze to fly off, head first into a pillar. Firenze stayed on the ground, unmoving.

"GRAWP WIN!" Grawp said as he jumped up and down shaking the station.

Me: Well that was a interesting fight, lesson learned eh Firenze, don't be reckless.

Firenze: Ugghh...

Me: yeah anyways cya all later for the next match!


	4. 3 Way Team Battle

Me: Hey Everyone! Look i'm sorry about not posting in like 2 months, but i've had some exams to prepare for (Don't worry I did awesomely) and I also had some personal IRL things to sort out. But anyways i'm back and with one of biggest battles yet(Just to make up for not writing)! So here we are with a 3 way team match with these teams:

Team 1: Neville, Lucius and Aunt Marge

Team 2: Luna, Bellatrix and Mrs Figg

Team 3: Fred, Draco and Dudley

Me: They are going to be battling it out in the Malfoy Manor! Special thanks to Anonymous reviewer from Ravenclaw for providing the teams and the venue trust me I really appreciate it when you give the venue as well as the contestants. Anyways let's not give the slav- I mean contestants time to whine, let us begin!

The three teams apparated into the Malfoys' entrance hall and took in their surroundings. The vast expanse of the hall left no room for hiding, although there were pillars placed beside the side walls creating a Greek feel to the dimly lit hall. There were many doors leading off into the further depths of the house and one large staircase leading up to large, intricately designed doors that had a cold feel to them.

Sprinting into action, Team 2 led by a hysterically laughing Bellatrix ran up the staircase and claimed the higher ground, while the two other teams desperately tried to make use of the Greek Pillars.

_Gong_

Team 2 started the rain of fire with Bellatrix screaming out "Crucio!", Luna murmuring "Fubblestacks" and Mrs Figg chucking her cats, recently infected with rabies down the staircase to wreck hell apon the other teams.

With very little cover Team 3 was being hailed down by exploding donkeys from Luna, springing into action Dudley began immediately wailing about how "The isn't fair!" and "I'm not a freak!" which caused Mrs Figg to throw cat dung on him screeching about "Stopping that damned racket!". With Dudley under a pile of Cat dung, Fred grabbed a pouch full of Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder grabbed a handful and chucked it in the air. Grabbing the ferret,he quickly conjured a small defense made of granite enchanted with a donkey repelling charm between them and Team 1. As the darkness lifted he chucked the ferret a pair of shield gloves yelling a quick "Put them on" and put on a shield cloak himself.

Meanwhile Team 1 was taking the full force of Crucios ricocheting off the walls while cats frothing at mouth hailed down on them threatening to give them hell with a single bite of their infectious rabies. Under the full force of two of the members of Team 2, Team 1 slowly fell back with Neville and Lucius retreating enough to finally start countering the Crucios, with avadas from Lucius and stuns from Neville. While Lucius and Neville fought back against Bellatrix, Marge summoned Ripper to deal with the cats. Growling, Ripper pounces on the first cat he sees. Marge blinked. Gone was Ripper and in his place a hissing cat licking her lips, wiping the foam off. Marge didn't even have time to scream before the cat pounced.

Running up the stairs with their attire of shield charmed clothing, Draco and Fred immediately began to aid Lucius and Neville in the fight against the leader of the winning team. Still laughing, Bellatrix sent two avadas at the arriving duo and followed up with a "Reducto" aimed directly at the ceiling above Fred. Fred conjured a slab of granite to which one of the killing curses slammed into, destroying it and sending a wave of power that forced everyone to the ground. The wave saved Draco's life as the second killing curse narrowly missed and instead hit the wooden entrance doors blasting them to pieces.

Lucius groggily stood up, grabbing his wand from the floor and looking around. He didn't have much chance to look anywhere else as a powerful reducto hit the ceiling, causing it to crack. Moving quickly, he took his chance while Bellatrix was still on the floor and said the fateful words "Avada Kedavra!". Bellatrix didn't even see the green light before her life ended.

Fred jumped to his feet as a slab of the roof narrowly missed him. Looking up he see the ceiling starting to collapse. Shouting to Draco "Let's get out of here!", he shouted "Incendio!" leaving a trail of fire behind him as he did a heroic jump out of the hall and out into the grassy lawn in front of the manor. He heard a light thump beside him as Draco made his escape. Flipping onto his back he dug his hand into his pocket and grinned as he found the rocket shape of a few Weasleys' Wildfire Whiz-bangs. Pulling them out, he tapped his wand to the wicks on the end and chucked them as hard as he could into the entrance hall.

"Cover your ears!" He shouted to Draco as he covered his own.

Lucius, Neville, Luna, Mrs Figg and the rabies infected cats didn't even notice the whiz-bangs come in as they desperately tried to dodge the falling pieces of ceiling. **BANG!** Mrs Figg screamed as a giant, flaming head of a dragon rushed towards her. Frozen in fear, she didn't run away as the dragon effectively exploded with her in it's mouth.

Luna, Neville and Lucius all being users of magic shouted "Aguamenti!" and sent jets towards the various fireworks. The charm didn't affect the fireworks which continued to combust into the ceiling, furthering the damage. Lucius began sprinting out of his home, dodging the pieces of his beloved hall that fell from the roof. Following suit, Luna and Neville both ran at full tilt, Luna caught up with Lucius while Neville slowly trailed behind huffing and puffing. Lucius and Luna copied the original duo and did a heroic jump as the entrance hall combusted and crumbled, caving in on a screaming Neville.

Thrown by the force of the explosion Lucius and Luna flew right over Fred and Draco and landed together in a heap. Groaning Lucius heaved himself off Luna and slowly stood up as vertigo hit him. Walking around dizzily, he was smacked into to reality as his son screamed "Cat Apocalypse!"

Looking up, he saw hundreds of cats yowling as they came pelting down to earth. **CRUNCH!** He jerked his head as he saw the Weasley boy crumbled under the weight of ten cats crashing into him, he grinned, only two left. His grin widened as he saw the cats jump off the Weasley boy and bite into Draco. He immediately screamed as the cats yowled and hissed, digging there rabie goodness deep into Draco. His scream turned into a gurgle as his mouth filled up with the froth, twitching he crumbled to the ground.

Lucius grin widened, _One left_. But where was the loon, he thought twirling around in the sea of cats. _There_. But what was she doing? She was casting a spells on the cats, transfiguring them hats and charming them to say "We are the cats in the hats!" _SHIT!_ Lucius bolted as the 'cats in the hats' began to roar and transform into lions wearing quite fancy top hats. But Lucius wasn't without any hope, he twirled around and conjured a flock of flying daggers and charmed them to each target a lion.

Roars of agony were heard as each and every one of the lions was stabbed by a steel dagger. Lucius's grin faltered however as a giant teletubby started to run towards him shouted "La la!"

"Avada Kedavra!"

"What is this madness?" Lucius yelled as his avada hit the teletubby and bounced off and raced towards him, ending his life.

"La la?" The teletubby questioned Luna.

"La la," she nodded in agreement.

Ron: Okay what in Merlin's brightly coloured sock just happened!

Me: Shit went down, shit went down. Anyways I hoped you enjoyed this and once again sorry for the VERY VERY late update all!


	5. Vernon vs Dementor

Fred: Ello luvvies!

George: I'm Forge!

Fred: And i'm Gred!

Snape: And i'm telling you two to shut up.

Xenophilius: *whispers* he's got wrackspurts in his ears o.O

Me: Anyways... I have another battle though i'm surprised why someone suggusted this is vernon sucks and dementors dement, anyways here it is VERNON VS DEMENTOR! Note: Thanks to friendship-is-magic2011 for sending this in, anyways let's begin!

Our two contestants are teleported into the Arena of Battles(unconfigured) to which Vernon stumbles foward. Shuddering from a strange cold he yells "What! you haven't brought in another fighter, or are they just too scared to fight the amazing Vernon?"

Me: Oh she's there, shall we begin?

_Gong!_

Vernon sucks in a sharp gasp as the cold intensifies. Howling in fear, he stumbles blindly as the dementor closes in. Groaning he desperately wrenches himself away from the cold and shouts "Let me out! Pleeeeeaaaassseeeee!"

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no dad I didn't mean to! I'm sorry please! No!" Vernon screams as the dementor closes in. Crying, he feels his soul ebb as he desperately tries to grab hold of it in vain.

With one last unearthly scream, he falls silent. His eyes are vacated, no thought or emotion is shown as he falls down with a blank face. Satisfied, the dementor glides away.

Me: Sorry about the short battle, I just had to make it realistic, hope you all enjoyed, see ya next time!

Sirius: What's up with your god damn cheesy endings, seriously!

Me: What's up with your completely dry serious jokes, meiously!

Sirius: GRRR!

Me: Hehehehe!

Harry: Err... Yeah guys thanks for reading, cya all-

Me: NO! That's my thing! *slaps Harry* Anyways see you all later!


End file.
